IF I was asked to name the airline with the most expensive in flight catering in the world then Ryanair would not be my first choice.
OK their drinks and snacks are overpriced, some would say outrageously overpriced but that is perhaps going a bit too far.
I seem to recall they were charging about a fiver for a few dribbles of gin or vodka from a shiny plastic sachet the other day but that is nothing compared with the price of one ‘special meal’ purchased by a passenger on a flight from Poland to East Midlands on Thursday.
By all accounts the meal was dry, bland, totally tasteless and rather difficult to digest. In fact it was perhaps the most unappetising airline meal of all time and at a cost of €10,000 (around £8,765) the most expensive in the world too.
To be fair to Ryanair the particular meal in question didn’t start life off as part of the in flight catering and the cabin crew did their best to prevent the passenger from eating it.
The meal started out as a humble scratchcard and the passenger found that it had won him a cool €10,000 prize.
The passenger was happy, ecstatic even, he was 26,000ft in the air but already in his head he had spent most of the money. This was to be his best flight ever. What joy! He couldn’t wait to call the stewardess and claim his prize.
“Ping,” went the sound of the cabin crew button above his head as the happy passenger waited to collect his winnings.
Cabin Crew member: “You pressed your call button sir, how can I help you?”
Happy Scratchcard winner: “I’ve won €10,000 on this scratchcard you sold me! €10,000 I tell you.”
CCM: “That’s great sir. Well done. I’m really happy for you.”
HSW: “Yes, I’m quite happy too – can I have my money now please? Fifties and hundred notes are best.”
CCM: “Excuse me.”
HSW: “My winnings. When are you going to bring me the money? I would quite like it now if you don’t mind.”
CCM: “You have to send off for the money. There is an address on the back of the card, and when it is verified I suspect they will send you a cheque.”
HSW: “I don’t want a cheque – I want my money now. Right this instant.”
CCM: “But we don’t have €10,000 on board the aircraft – we can’t possibly pay you now. We’ve only sold a few cups of tea, a handful of scratchcards and the lady in 5B bought a couple of plastic sachets of gin.
“All the money we have got is in a plastic cup on the drinks trolley and its nowhere near €10,000.”
HSW: “Look, I don’t care about your excuses, you can make excuses all you like but I want my money and if I don’t get it I am going to eat this scratch card and then you’ll be sorry.”
CCM: “You’re going to EAT the scratchcard which has just won you €10,000! Actually eat it?”
HSW: “Yes, just watch me. So you better bring me that money now before its too late.”
CCM: “You really mustn’t eat the card sir. You need the card to prove you’ve won the prize.”
HSW: “Five….”
CCM: “We simply can’t pay you right now. It’s impossible!”
HSW: “Four…”
CCM: “Sir, I must insist.”
HSW: (ripping card in half) “Three…”
CCM: “We can sort this out just as soon as we land. If you just be a little patient.”
HSW: (ripping card into half again) “Two…”
CCM: “If you just give me the card. I will say you ripped if up by accident, you should still get your money. It is quite a lot of money and you really should claim it.”
HSW: “One…”
CCM: “I’ll call the flight supervisor if you want but I know we don’t have €10,000 on board the aircraft.”
HSW: (eats scratchcard.)
CCM: “Would you like to buy a scratchcard? This is quite a lucky flight. We have sold one jackpot winning card already. No? Some smokeless cigarettes instead then, perfume, chocolates, or perhaps a gin in a shiny little plastic bag?”
OK, I wasn’t on board so the conversation might not have gone exactly like that but the incident did happen. It’s on the BBC so it must be true.
And Ryanair are already making fun of the poor passenger on their website.
This is what they say.
Ryanair, the world’s favourite airline, today (26th Feb) confirmed that the winner of a €10,000 Ryanair scratch card, on Thursday’s FR1724 flight from Krakow to East Midlands, ate the €10,000 winning ticket after crew confirmed he had won the €10,000 prize.
When the delighted crew congratulated the winner and advised him how to claim his prize he apparently became upset that Ryanair’s cabin crew could not pay him the €10,000 there and then on the flight. When the crew explained to him that these very large €10,000 prizes needed to be verified with, and collected directly from, the scratch card company the prize winner became angry and decided to digest his win – literally!
Since this €10,000 prize will now go unclaimed Ryanair and Brand Force, the scratch card company, have decided to offer the cash to charity and have asked Ryanair passengers to vote on www.ryanair.com (until Fri 5th Mar) for which type of charity Ryanair should donate the €10,000 prize to, from the following list:
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1. An Anger Management Charity 2. An Eating Disorder Charity 3. A Gamblers Charity 4. A Disruptive Children’s Charity 5. A Mental Health Charity
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